Jefferson is such a gamer he let me snap this picture of him as he was heading off to his first day at film school. I love this kid! He is passionate and fun to be with. I love that he knows what he wants to do with his life and is willing to work hard at making it become a reality. He headed off to school with his laptop and a brain full of ideas. It is the first time he has ever gone to school and not taken Peter with him. His school life use to consist of getting Peter out of the car and into his wheelchair every time he came to school and left school. Now it's just him. He said to me the other day that he never realized how easy it is to just jump out of the car on your own and get to class. I am happy for him. I am thankful Jefferson is staying around for the next couple of years. I am not ready to send him away. He and I have a little catching up to do after the teenage years. He has become an insightful interesting young adult and I want to spend the time I can with him.
Don't you just hate that by the time the kids become insightful interesting young adults they leave? This time I know it will come so I am much more intentional with my time with him.
I have continued to clean out all my closets and drawers. IT IS SO HARD! But it got me thinking. I started questioning in my life if at times I have allowed my disorganization to get out of control because I did not feel worthy. I know that sounds strange but at different stages of my life I have struggled feeling worthy. I think we all do. I have faced difficulties in life and without a conscious thought of unworthiness it has still crept into my thinking. When deep struggles have come my way my first thought usually is, "why would I think it would ever go any other way?" Even small thoughts like these need to come under control in our life. It takes so much time and insight to even pull out thoughts that are holding you back. To acknowledge the thought before it becomes a belief is the key. Not sure I have been able to do that every time but as I age I am becoming more aware of the power small thoughts have in forming beliefs. Small thoughts create big beliefs about ourselves and others. Lately every time I finish a big closet or drawer I step back and say out loud, "You are worthy of order to your chaos." Today think of areas in your life where you may not be feeling worthy of something good for you. And try with intention to surrender the thought to God.