My boys were born to me when I was already in a fragile state but to say they changed my life in a moment is an understatement. All of our children change our lives but when a special needs child comes into your family you realize life will never be the same...
Peter and Jefferson were born three months early and were actually born with their triplet brother Daniel. However Daniel did not have a heart and as soon as he was born we knew we would lose him. The boys struggled to live those early days and we struggled to make sense of it all. Peter came home on oxygen and remained on it for the next 18 months. We did not know for sure he had Cerebral Palsy at that time but as time went on and mile stones were never met the picture became more clear. Those days are dark for me personally.
But as time went on and we realized what life would begin to look like we knew we had to accept it. Therapy can take over your life and you can be so caught up in the disability that you forget to live... This is one of the reasons I wanted to start this website. You must live life in the biggest way possible for YOU.... It might look different than your friends lives, it might feel too hard sometimes, and it might even make you wonder if it’s worth all the work that it takes to make a memory but trust me it will be worth it for you and your family! Treating your special needs child just like you treat your other kids will be a challenge. Don’t hold him or her too closely because you will miss out on what the world will be able to teach you. Let that kid fail, fall, and regain their footing just like your typical kids. It will break your heart a little more then the others but it will be part of the process. Decide that you will allow this disability to teach YOU and change YOU. Remember that for your child this will be normal. Separating your life from their life will be a constant challenge but you must work at it daily. I hope that my stories are somewhat encouraging, that through my stories your stories will become brighter and you will begin to see all the small miracles. I pray that renewed hope in a new future will become somewhat possible for all my readers that are struggling.
Peter is by far my happiest child. Those who have special needs in their life soon realize to take life for what it is and get what you can from it in anyway it comes. We get to live this life only once so make the most of it! Because it is the small things that will matter the most in the end....
The other purpose for this blog was a reminder for myself. A bit of proof that life has its own way of working out just the way it’s suppose to. When I first learned Peter had Cerebral Palsy I thought life and God had gotten it all wrong. So I thought I would try writing things down to see if I could prove that point. Strangely it began proving ME wrong. Day by day, moment by moment, miraculous small event after another I slowly began to find the purpose. Life and God had it all right, it just took looking for me to see it. It took changing, opening my mind, and accepting all that was waiting for me to enjoy it and value what it was doing to me and my sweet family.
And my final purpose although in no way less in importance was to meet my kids as a forty something, in their forty’s. :) Especially my girls when they are raising their children. I know in time I will forget all of these deep feelings, and I might even disagree that I ever had some of these thoughts or that some of these events ever happened so I wanted a place to record time and have a time warp way of connecting with my children later in life. I wanted a way to sit down and have a cup of coffee with my daughters or sons and be their age even if it is only as long as it takes to read an entry. :) Just enjoying the small things in life together as two human’s connecting through time and space. My own time machine created from life events as they happened.
Join me, get some coffee and let’s do life together.... :)